Given A White Robe

In 1994 Arwen and I were convinced it was time to go. We had been committed to going and serving overseas since we got married to each other and now it was time, but where? We prayed about it and settled on Middle Earth because it was completely unreached and the doors were just coming open there. So, I wrote to our Agency and asked for job requests from the region. Arwen and I read and prayed through forty different requests but the one for Team Leader for Minas Tirith in Gondor blew us away. It was the greatest opportunity ever, a dream job. If anyone else read this request it would snatched up immediately! So, I called the Agency headquarters and talked to the secretary for the region. I told her that we didn’t have all of our paperwork in yet but we had to reserve that job somehow. I will never forget her words. ‘Middle Earth? No one wants to go to Middle Earth!’ A year later we were on our way.

In 1999 we went on our first homeleave and we met the secretary at our debriefing conference. I reminded her of her words and she said she could not believe she would have said such a thing- I assure you she did. At the conference she played the piano and taught us all a new song (I forget the author) that always reminds me of her whenever we sing it.

Our heart, Our desire, is to see the nations worship.

Our cry, our prayer, is to sing your praise to the ends of the earth.

That with one mighty voice, every tribe and tongue rejoices.

Our heart, our desire, is to see the nations worship you.

A few years later- after being secretary for our region for many years she heeded her own words and came out to a different country in Middle Earth. She learned the language, the culture, and most of all she learned to love the people in extraordinary ways. She glowed with the love of Jesus and everyone who ever met her was struck by her grace. Yesterday we heard unconfirmed reports that she has been killed after a several week ordeal. Security forbids me to say anymore. Likely, even hopefully, you will never hear her story this side of eternity. You will not know of the great sister who has laid down her life for the Kingdom of God.

There are a lot of mixed feelings about martyrs. In our Western society it has become a negative word, a word to describe misguided people. Some in Church who do understand the word still don’t like it. For too many of us the old enemy death has not lost his sting. We cling to ideas of loss forgetting our faith. Our hearts have not caught up with our heads. Revelation gives us a different perspective. In chapter 6:9-11 we see:

When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne. They cried out with a loud voice, “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth? Then they were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been.

I grieve that I will not see my friend again this side of eternity but I do not mourn her loss. She has been given a white robe and is now at rest. She will be honored throughout eternity for her service to her Father. She has laid down her life not just for her friends but for her enemies as well. I believe it was because she had such grace and character as the Lord had put into her that He honored her by allowing her to be a sacrifice for the people she was sent to serve. I am sorry you can not know more about her to honor her and learn from her. Just know that the Father is raising up many like her to swell the numbers of His Kingdom until it truly does have no end. Heaven will be truly glorious as it radiates with the splendor of men, women, and children who reflect the glory of our God for all eternity. She is no longer in the battle. Who will stand in the gap she leaves?

Humbled.....Again

Last week after a successful food distribution to a village starving in the worst winter Gondor has seen in 25 years we decided we would go back down to Anfalas and do a special seminar. The young church down there is always hungry for more of the Word so I thought it would be a good idea for us to take a whole day and do an Old Testament overview kinda conference.

We met a couple of times and portioned out the different subjects each of us would teach. Merry would take the Patriarchs, Frodo would teach Exodus through the Judges, and Sam would go over the Wisdom litereture. I would overview Israel's history and put the prophets into that perspective. On Monday we met to make sure that we were clear on what we were doing. Everything looked good. Any questions? Merry shifted in his seat, 'just one.' 'Are you coming with us?'
I paused, looking at his discomfort and trying to figure out where he was going with this.
'Do you think I shouldn't go?' They had discussed this, obviously they didn't think so. They then explained that while everyone in Anfalas loved me it was clear that when I was there people were shy. They didn't always come around the foreigner and when they did come around they didn't always open up and asks questions. 'Ok', I said. 'You guys are breaking my heart!' Man, teaching the Word is my greatest joy in life. I knew they were right. I sent them on without me.

The team got back yesterday and the study went really well. All four baptised believers were there and eight other adults joined them. The teaching went on all day and into the night. No one left or lost interest. They were all rivoted to what the guys were saying. And God was working in me too. He told me to look up a verse that would help me. It is a much used verse in our line of work. So much used that it is almost trite, taken for granted.

2 Timothy 2:2
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who also will be qualified to teach others.

This verse washed over me. It soothed me and gave me joy. I thought about how I was able to just say to Merry, 'Teach the Patriarchs' and he would do it. I didn't say to him, 'Don't forget to mention this, please emphasis that, use these key verses.' He knew it. We have studied and worked together for four years. They know the Word and they know Jesus well. They can teach very well. Lives were changed Tuesday. Several who have been fence sitting have been powerfully challenged to follow the Truth in an effective way. God is moving in Anfalas. And if He is then my job is done and I need to move on to the next village, the next uncrossable barrier, the next Gate of Hell that is begging to be knocked down so that those inside can be set free by our relentless savior.

A quick prologue to what I have just written. When Merry finished sharing about how Joseph experienced great personal pain but that God used it all for good he got a phone call. His sister's apartment here in Minas Tirith burned completely in the night. Thanks be to God who awoke his sister at one in the morning when she heard the sounds and smell of burning and looked in on Merry's studio where he does dubbing of Christian movies and music. The fire was already raging and the force of it blasted the door open and threw her back. She escaped with her two children unharmed but they have lost everything. They are currently staying at Frodo's house until funds can be collected to remodel the apartment. Local believers are coming to their aid and today I know that they have clothes and shelter and all that they need. Replacing the studio and the apartment will be harder for them but not for God. Merry took the news gracefully and was a testimony of how God's children should bear burdens. I am proud of the whole team who can not only share the Gospel, they live it.

Heating Up in the Cold

Well, I tried singing, reading the Word, talking to my family but I can't shake the feeling of anger that has taken over my heart. So, I will process with you, dear reader, and maybe I will get it off my chest once and for all.

Backround: Gondor is having the worst winter in 25 years. It has been darn cold and the utilities have consequently suffered badly. Our dam is out of water and we have severe power shortages. This means that for the last couple of weeks we have had no power from 10 to 5 am and pm. But worse than that the villages outside of Minas Tirith where I live have had no electricity at all for over a month. Many people have died in the cold including newborn babies in cold hospitals. This kind of crisis brings out the best and the worst in people depending on their charactor. Our believing friends have done great, bearing inconveniences patiently and serving others. The Government officials have responded with a spate of new fees and regulations designed to milk every penny they can out of local people and us International NGO's. This has been getting steadily more annoying to me but today I just about lost it.

We have not had water for more than a month now as all the lines are frozen. I walked into the office this afternoon and had to leave again quickly before I blew up. Three men from the water department had barged into our office and were demanding back payment for supposedly outstanding bills from 1996. They want about $50. It is not about the money. It is about my temper and the fact that I have not had a bath in six weeks. They will come again tomorrow and I am asking all who read this to pray for me. If God blesses me with more grace than I can currently find in my heart I will deal with these guys tomorrow morning and move on to serve the people he sent me to. If I face them without such grace this blog may be closed as I get deported for physically assaulting the water guys.

Grace grace God's grace, grace that is greater than all our sins.... I need MORE!

UPDATE: So, you guys must have prayed hard because today our water came back! Of course, we didn't have electricity all day but now that is back too. I met with the water guys and they were somewhat reasonable, or at least I was. So, thanks to all who prayed. It is a small victory in the midst of a big crises but hey, one step at a time.

To Mount Doom 3

Arathorn was a 26 year old International Service Corps young man with the Southern Baptists. He had served for one year in a country to the north of us and he wanted to serve his second year taking advantage of the door that God opened for us in Mordor. The year was 1999 and it was time for me to go on my first homeleave. I told Arathorn that we would not be able to support him well. We were partnering with a construction agency that would be able to get the money and resources to him to continue the project but there would be no pastoral care, and very little advice or encouragement. Arathorn tackled northern Mordor with zest. He was determined to get the Gospel to people who had been in complete darkness for thousands of years. These were fanatical Muslims who had spent the last twenty years in civil war. Everyone carried a gun and everyone knew how to use one.

Living conditions were primative but tolerable. We had set up an office and the local family who owned the property lived there, cleaned, cooked and served with great hospitality. But this was in the end a small village. There was no electricity except for the generator we provided. There was no water except what the family carried in from the well. Life was completely communal with this one big exception: We never saw women at all. They were shut up behind high walls and when there was a rare occasion of a woman traveling on the road she was covered from head to toe, her face veiled completely, and more than that people would be angry if you looked at her for more than a passing glance. Communal living does however mean that everything you do and say is known by everyone in the village. How do you do evangelism and discipleship in this very hostile setting. Arathorn didn't know but he was determined to find out. He shared stories, his testimony, he told coworkers about what he believed. Immediately he was opposed by our office manager. He was a strict Muslim and more than that he was afraid that if anyone thought that Arathorn was trying to spread his faith they could all be killed. Arathorn kept trying anyway. He was frustrated that he could not have any private conversations. After a few of these early on the villagers were afraid to talk to him alone because of several who had faced a mean interrogation afterwards. 'Why did you talk to Arathorn? What did you talk about? You are not wanting to be a Christian are you?!' Arathorn was frustrated. Not only was he not able to evangelize one on one but he could not even have a close friend to talk to. Just before I left for the US I went down with the director of the Construction firm we partnered with. We walked into a big controversy. The local officials in Mordor were furious with Arathorn because he had given a man a New Testament in their language. Of course, the reason he gave it to him was because he had asked for it! It had been a trap. The Director and I went to see the Governor of the district. We told him that we would take Arathorn and go home. Of course, with no one else to run the projects we would have to suspend our activities. The Governor asked Arathorn to promise not to give our any more New Testaments and he could stay. Well, personally I think that this is an easy promise to keep. After all, how effective is giving out literature in a country with 17% literacy! No, we would stick to stories and Arathorn would have to keep looking for a way to share them.

When I came back from the US Arathorn came up to visit us in Gondor and take a break. It was never much of a break for him to come to Gondor. The spiritual battle seemed to rage even more when he came here. He was arrested at the airport and held until we could get him out every single time he came- which was several times... five or six I think. They always said his visa was wrong but the truth was he dressed, talked, and acted like a national from Mordor which made him very unpopular in Gondor! I asked him how things were and he described his difficulties. He struggled terribly with being the only known believer in all of northern Mordor. He was alone and he was frustrated. But he talked about the projects and the office with some joy. He told me that it was an interesting thing to watch the other organizations down there. There was a Swedish group and their guy wore a tie and so all the Mordor staff had taken to wearing ties. There was a French group and they had several young men who drank wine alot. So, their national staff had begun drinking as well. Then I asked him the obvious question, 'What are your staff known for?' He thought for just a second and replied that his men where known for servanthood. His guys stood out in that they were always ready to pick up a shovel and help. I liked that a lot.

Arathorn extended his contract for two more years. Finally, in 2001 another young man came out and joined him. Then another, then a young family. Arathorn worked harder and harder. He finally left frustrated and defeated. I give him full credit for opening the office that is still there today. I give him full credit for beginning a work in one of the most difficult places on earth. But he left thinking he had failed.

Two years later the team leader for Northern Morder came up to me at a conference and said, 'Hey Strider, do you ever hear from Arathorn anymore?' I told him that I had lost track of him. He said to me, 'Well, if you ever see him tell him that we currently work with six men who have become believers. All six of them knew Arathorn.' We always tell ourselves that we will never know the impact we have on others this side of eternity. I am sure that some who are famous with big ministries will be disappointed at how few they touched for the Kingdom. I am very sure that Arathorn will be amazed at the many who surround him on that great day and say thank you. Arathorn, if you are reading this I will say thank you right now, and WELL DONE!

To Mount Doom 2

In my last post I recalled how we began our work in Mordor. Once the money was in we still needed personnel and we needed them fast. We had a three and a half month window to build 6000 houses or people would perish in the snow. My Engineer friend took advantage of the Red Cross pulling out by hiring one of their administrators. Later we would be priviliged to pick up a highly trained national engineer. These two men saw the project through even when we didn't know if we could go back to Mordor ourselves. The civil war got closer. As the Engineer stayed on after everyone else evacuated I began to get concerned. If he suddenly had to leave could we get him out? I began to look into it. Then another agency assured me that they had everything under control. Our Engineer could come out with them across the river by boat. All the permissions were arranged. Fine I said and assurred my friend that all was ready. When he got across the river, with bombs clearly heard in the distance, he was told by the border forces that his name was not on the list. He called me on his Satelite telelphone and exclaimed that there was a huge mess up. He as not happy as they sent him back across the river where there was only a small guard house and nowhere to spend the night or get food. Fortunately, the Mordor border guards took pity on him and fed him and gave him room in the guardhouse to put down a sleeping bag. He would remain there for three days while I ran around from morning till night everyday going from office to office trying to get permission for him to get across. I was one stamp away from getting a helicopter with the Gondor Army when the big boss from out of town came in unexpectedly and squashed the plan. I finally got his name on the approprate list and he came across the river and was picked up by our national guys who drove him the seven hour drive up to Minas Tirith where we live. I am not sure he ever forgave me for letting him sit on a dangerous border for three days but I promise all of you I did not rest an hour while he was there. Such is life, or at least such is Middle Earth.

Our next task was to get personnel on the ground. We had a functioning office, some great national staff, and a big budget but no expatriot staff to run the project or more important, to take advantage of the ministry opportunities. There were several families who had lived in Mordor before they had all been kicked out two years before, there were several more families that had claimed to love the people of Mordor and worked in neighboring countries to serve these people. I was sure once they knew about our project they would be begging to get involved. In many ways I was still operating out of my area of responsibility. Mordor was someone else's job, not mine. I had a full-time job right here in Gondor as my team continually reminded me. But after a few weeks I realized they were not coming. It is difficult to say exactly why but I will put forward two reasons that I think are valid. One, they did not come because they had always had city ministries and several of them had families that were used to the city and our project was more than just rural, it was remote. Two, I think that once someone is settled, even if it is not in the place one wishes to be, it is very difficult to pick up and move on a moment's notice. We were asking a lot, and in the end we were asking too much. No one came and we concluded the project that fall with no international staff on the ground. It may interest you to know that our little organization built 500 homes in four months and that the four NGO's combined built 13,000 homes- that's right, THIRTEEN THOUSAND! The people of northern Mordor had the shelter they needed for the winter. I am very proud of the project we did, of the plan that we came up with and I want to be really really clear here: This is all credit to the Holy Spirit who gave us the plan and the resources to accomplish it.

That winter our region had what we call our Annual General Meeting. During the meeting there was a special session called by our leadership to address the problem of Mordor. Several people made presentations about how they might could try and do something from some direction or another to get people in. I stood up and described our project, our entrance into Mordor and I plead for people to come and join the project. Now, you may not believe this but several people stood up and opposed me. They said that Mordor was too dangerous, it was too risky, we were not ready etc. etc. I replied that we would never impact the lostness of Mordor without risks and sacrifices. Much more annoying to me was that there were non-Christian international workers there doing projects right now while we Christians hid behind our own timidity. I challenged them to take up the task or renounce their claim to love the people of Mordor. Yeah, I know, I am not much of a diplomat.
I was discouraged.

But later that day a young man I will name Arathorn came up to me and asked me more about the project. He had been working for the last year in the mountains north of Gondor and he said this was just the kind of challenge he was looking for. I talked to his supervisor who gave the ok and we arranged for him to go down in six weeks time. I warned him that I was going on Stateside Assignment later that year. He would be all alone, the only known Christian in all of Northern Mordor and we would not be able to support him well. He said he understood. He said he was ready. I don't think he has ever forgiven me for our lack of support and the really difficult time he had for the next three years. But that will be the topic of my next post.

To Mount Doom

The title sounds dramatic huh? Well, it is one of my better stories and after a year and a half of blogging my stories I still have not gotten around to it. This next month it will be ten years since the events I am about to record first began, events that changed me and are largely responsible for making me what I am today. The self-help nuts have it completely wrong you know. We are not in control of our destiny, our words do not shape our future, and our lives are not in our hands. God is not a project that I work on, getting myself more pure and holy and spiritual. I am His project. Ten years ago He spoke into the world and changed it forever and I was glad to be along for the ride. Quite right, way too much intro, I will just tell the story.

In February of 1998 I had been in Gondor for less than a year. I was struggling to start a micro-business enterprise program, we were coming together as a new team with three families, and Gondor was a mess (please note severe understatement here). The utilities didn't work, the society didn't work, and we didn't know what we were supposed to do about it. Gonder had just finished a five year civil war the year before and now various factions, and tribes, and out and out criminal gangs were vying for control of whatever they thought was worth having- which wasn't much in my eyes at the time. People suffered hugely. Violence was out of control and we checked in daily on our radios which we carried at all times. After describing all this it should not surprise you that we took little notice when a massive earthquake struck the mountains on Mordor to the south of us. Gimli was down at the airport when 23 European reporters showed up and asked him how they could get to Mordor to cover the event. Mordor was still in a twenty year civil war itself and most all Western personnel including folks from our company had had to leave the year before. Half the Gondor army sat on the river bank making sure no one crossed that border- there were not even any bridges across the river- and there were no flights to Mordor from Gondor. Gimli told them you couldn't get there from here. Later we heard that they were some of the first people to respond to the disaster. In the week following the 8.0 earthquake that struck a group of 30 villages in Northern Mordor only two aid workers and 23 reporters responded. Eventually, we sent a truck of clothes down with a Red Cross convoy but the event was eye-opening for me. What does one do to respond to a disaster? I had never thought about it before. It was always someone else's job. What if there was no one else to do the job? We lived in land where earthquakes, landslides, and floods were yearly events. Should we do something about that? I began to look into it.

We prayed, explored, read, interviewed experts in the field and finally made a plan. Our team met one Wednesday night later that Spring and we wrote out a six point plan of action for the next time a disaster happened in our area. I e-mailed it to my boss and informed him of our intentions. My wife Arwen then said, 'Now all we have to do is pray for another earthquake in Mordor.' We wont ever let her forget those words. At 11:00 o'clock the next morning a second 8.0 earthquake hit Northern Mordor completely destroying over sixty villages. We began to plan to go. I met up with a Dutch friend of mine who worked with another agency. He was an engineer so I thought he would be a pretty handy guy to have along. He told me that a disaster consultant was coming from the West to help us out. A couple weeks later we flew down to Mordor on a huge relief helicopter arranged by the Red Cross. I set foot in Mordor for the first time. It was intimidating. Mordor was nothing like I had ever experienced before. It was wild and lawless. They had been caught up in a civil war for over twenty years and everyone had guns, and everyone knew well how to use them.

Our first day in Mordor was amazing. We landed and were greeted by men with guns who escorted us to the office of another aid agency. It was an Irish group and they were very hospitable. They arranged a jeep for us and a driver and we headed out to a nearby village that still needed to be assessed. The drive was incredible as we went up riverbeds and into places that I never dreamed a jeep could go. In the end we arrived a village of 750 homes. I stood in the middle of the village and could look out to the fields in every direction. Every wall was reduced to chest high, every house destroyed. There were a few people milling around but not many. We spoke to the village elders. I say 'we' but really my Engineer friend and our new Irish friend did the talking through a translator. I dropped back and started talking with a 19 year old young man who was very informative. It was here that I learned something very important. I had no training to do this job but I could do it better than anyone because I could speak the language. My friends asked the elders where all the people were and they claimed they were working in the fields but that all the people were still here in the village. I ask my young friend in his language where everyone was and he said they all moved into a refugee camp outside the district capital. The village elders were looking out for their own interest and hoping as much aid as possible would come their way. I don't blame them but for us it is much more important to know the truth if we are to mount an effective relief plan. In a flash I realized that because I knew the language and culture I could make a far better assessment than teams of trained Red Cross and UN guys. You may or may not know that most Red Cross and UN guys are either Swiss or French and the Swiss and the French are the only people on Earth more arrogant and culturally insensitive than we Americans. This revelation would set the agenda for our aid work as basic assessment for the next seven years.

I say that the village was completely destroyed but there were a couple of notable exceptions. There were two very old buildings- very small- that survived. We began looking at how the homes made of mud brick collapsed and I got a crash course in engineering and building design. We realized that the old buildings had earthquake mitigation techniques built into them. These people's grandfather's knew how to build- they had just forgotten. My engineer friend designed a house then the basic principles of which we still use to this day in all our building projects. I would describe the nine points of it but most of you would find that boring so I will skip it for now.

We headed back to the office and on the way we rolled the jeep. Not a fun experience but we got out and righted our vehicle and drove back to the district capitol. I then went down to the bazaar to try out my language some more and to see what kind of goods and services we could expect when we set up an office here. The Engineer and the Consultant had a meeting with the local Governor. I met a nice young man who invited me out to his village that night. I spent the night out there with around 15 guys and we had some interesting conversation. I shared my faith with them and they even had me sing a spiritual in English which I translated for them. It was great fun.

Now at this point I have to digress. A month before all this there was a huge battle on the edge of Minas Tirith where I live that nearly drove the country back into civil war. After it was over no one wanted to help the people in the more than sixty destroyed homes so Gimli and our other team member whom I have not told you much about, Gandalf, went out to help. It was their idea that we could not rebuild full homes for those who lost their homes in the battle but we could rebuild a couple of rooms of the bombed out houses to give them emergency shelter. I shared this idea with the Engineer and we incorporated it into our plan. The second night we were in Mordor we presented our plan to the Governor and the four Non-Governmental Organizations who were committed to providing shelter. The UN and the Red Cross were pulling out because the Mordor civil war was getting too close. We could expect no building materials at all to be imported because we had the war in the south and the inpenatrable Gondor border in the north- even if we could get goods across the bordor Gondor had nothing to offer anyway. The latest surveys showed that we needed over 6000 shelters in sixty villages before winter came. So, we presented our plan. The four NGO's would divide up the villages and we would then go to each village which we were responsible for and divide the villagers up into teams. Each team would have a brick mason whom we would train to build houses according to our design. Our Engineer then presented his design. He called it 'Temporay Housing in Permanant Structures'. The idea was that we would build a square five by five meter room using recycled materials from the broken houses. This would be enough to get families out of the snow that winter and then they could build larger structures next year when they had more time and resources. The Mordorites thanked us for the plan but said it had one fatal flaw. The plan depended on men from different families working in teams and they told us no Mordor man would work on someone else's home before his was finished. I being the diplomat that I am leaned across the table and told them that they would all die in the snow. The UN actually saved the day at this point. The World Food Program decided that even though they were leaving because of the war they would leave their wheat flour for us to distribute. When we offered to pay each family with food for work they all agreed to work on the teams.

This is getting too long but we are almost there. So, after a week we went back to Gondor and made our plans. The Engineer came up with a budget for our part of the project. We needed 300,000 dollars to pull it off. I said, 'Man, can't it be cheaper?!' He said that as near as he could tell that is what it would cost to set up the office, hire staff, and run the project for the next five months. Southern Baptists contributed $25,000 out of our Human Needs fund. I was skeptical about the rest. Within two weeks we had all $300,000 given from seven different sources. We didn't even ask for it. People found out we were working in Mordor and they offered us the money. God truly owns the cattle on a thousand hills and when He asks you to do something He cuts a few loose for you. I will never doubt that again. Never make a decision about what God wants you to do based on money- He's got plenty.

So, that is my first week in Mordor in the summer of 1998. In my next post I will talk about some of the results and where God took us next.

Something to Brag About

Personal Note: We just got back from the Grey Havens today. It was a great trip with great weather, good family time, and a great conference with Neil Cole- esteemed church planting guru. We arrived early this morning to sub-zero temperatures and snow on the ground. I am wearing my winter hat even now as I type. It is really cold outside and fairly cold inside. Oh well, back to work.

But the subject of today's post is the Kingdom of God; or more accurately how we perceive the Kingdom. I am sure that everyone thinks they have their priorities right- if they didn't they would change them. But are they right? Are our priorities- yours and mine- correct? There are things that I would love to hide from you. There are sins that I hope you will never find out about. I am sure you feel the same. But I have learned that we should not judge ourselves by the things we try to hide as much as by the things we brag about. What do you brag about? What is it you feel is really wonderful about you and your life? I think that when it comes to the Kingdom of God this is a critical question. It came up recently here when some friends did something that surprised us. I will tell the story.

Legolas and I work together here in Gondor. He and his wife have started a small church in their home made up of the extended members of a very dysfunctional family. Several have become believers and their redeemed and transformed lives have been a rock of stumbling for others in their family who are clinging to sin and selfishness. One young lady has been a real beacon of light in the darkness here. She also worked for a family who are with a different organization. They are from another denomination and look at the work of church planting differently than we do. I have always liked them and enjoyed their fellowship in spite of doctrinal and methodological differences. Last year they went back to the West. Last week they paid big bucks to sponsor this young lady to move to the West to live and study. Legolas and his wife are furious. I am very disappointed. At this point some of you may be wondering why we are upset. The answer is very important. It has to do with the very heart of the Gospel itself. Let me contrast the two views here so that we can clearly understand what is at stake.

View One: Legolas and his wife believe that God has called all Christians to join Him in His great work of establishing the Kingdom of God among every people, tribe, and nation. They shared the Gospel with this young lady believing that God wanted her in His Kingdom and had paid a huge price at Calvary in order to make that happen. Eternity is a long time and Legolas and his wife have given up a good paying job in the West and taken their five children to a hard place to live because they believe that the Kingdom of God is far more valuable than any earthly rewards. They further believe that God desires to reach the people of Gondor with the people of Gondor- or as we like to say, the resources needed for a harvest are in the harvest. So, they believe that what this young lady needs more than anything is a deep discipleship relationship with God that teaches her to obey everything He commands her.

View Two: What our other friends have demonstrated is another view altogether. They believe that the Kingdom of God means material benefits that translate into a higher standard of living. It is simple really: If you love God He will love you by giving you a more comfortable life. Since this young lady has come to faith in a poor and struggling country what needs to happen is that we must get her out of there right away so that she can reap the rewards of her good decision to follow Jesus. In this view our job of discipleship has less to do with obeying Jesus and more to do with providing every material benefit we can to those in need.

Now, let me be clear here, I am a humanitarian aid worker. I help people everyday. I believe in our responsibility to care for others with all the resources He supplies. But I also believe that the greatest joy of any believer should come as they lay down their lives for the one who calls us all. This happens in small ways and large every day. I am sure that my friends think they have done a good deed in taking this girl to the West and 'rescuing' her from a difficult life in a broken country- it goes without saying that she is way warmer in the West than here right now! But I will not boast of lives rescued from suffering. I will boast in my Lord who calls all of those whom He loves to come and die. His ways are not our ways but they are the best ways. They are the only ways that spell hope for the people of Gondor, for the peoples of Middle Earth, for the peoples of the whole world. Oh, and for you and me too.

New Year's Resolutions

I would not normally make a big deal about New Year's resolutions but here in this short blog post I will make a brief exception. This morning Arwen and I got up- after sleeping in- and prayed together. We are committing to each other to pray with each other everyday. This may sound like an obvious thing to do but the truth is that most Christian couples do not do this. I will let you know how we get on and if we learn anything inspiring I will share it.

On Jan 3erd we head out to the Gray Havens to have a series of meetings with the rest of our region. I am really looking forward to it. We need the break after the busy holiday season- which was unbelievably busy but very rewarding. I will return to Gondor on the 14th and will resume blogging some time after that. When I come back I intend to continue storytelling as usual but I will also be adding more posts on strategy and theology as it meets life here on our team.

So, until the 15th of January I will say have a very happy end to your holiday season and as 2008 kicks off may you deepen your walk with our Lord Jesus Christ each and every day.

A Christmas Story- The Wrong Version

I love the Christmas story. I know, that is really trite, everyone is suppose to say that. Nevertheless for me the story of God coming to earth to redeem fallen and rebellious man is a great story. The Muslims here tell the story a little differently though. Many of you probably know that Muslims are very offended by the idea that Jesus is God's Son. A couple of years ago I had long discussion about it with a good friend of mine who is a Muslim. In frustration he gave me a movie that was produced in a Muslim country for Muslims about the birth of Jesus. He felt that it would clear up all my misunderstandings- in a sense it did.

The movie opens with Mary in the temple in Jerusalem. She is a highly respected member of Jewish society. She is well known for her work with the poor, for her spicial purity and grace, and for the miracles and healings that she could do. She stays with her uncle, Zachariah who is one of the priest. There is no mention of Joseph. Mary is discovered to be with child. The rulers and the priest feel betrayed and they accuse Mary of immorality. She knows she is pregnant by God's Spirit but no one believes her except for Zachariah- and he only half believes her. She is yelled at and disgraced and finally when Zach can no longer defend her she flees into the wilderness where there is an abundance of loud dramatic music and moving scenes of sand and rock. She then goes up to a strange pillar of rock leans against it and gives birth to a chorus of more loud dramatic music. She goes back to Jerusalem and takes her baby to the steps of the temple where she is greeted by a crowd of bitter old angry men dressed up as priest. They mock her and scold her. They asks her the baby's name and she replies that they should ask him themselves. They mock her some more and one of them says, 'So, the baby can talk can it? I will just ask him myself shall I? Hey kid, what's your name?' To everone's great shock the baby replies in a deep voice that he is Jesus and he is a great prophet sent from God. All the old men fall down defeated and ashamed.

What I like about this movie is that they describe Jesus' parenthood nearly exactly like we do. One of the big arguments from Muslims is that Jesus could not be God's son but they do in fact acknowledge that Mary was a virgin and that God's Spirit made her to be pregnant. Very interesting. But there is much that I hate about this movie. In addition to the ridiculously dramatic music there is the character and nature of Mary herself. In the Muslim view Mary is beloved by God because of her exceptional nature. She is better than everyone else and that is why God chose her. But I like the truth much better! The truth is that Mary was the least of the least. She was an uneducated, poor, unremarkable village girl from the smallest town in the smallest most oppressed country in the world. She was completely powerless so what better person could God use to change the entire world? I said Mary was unremarkable but that of course, is not quite true. She was nothing in the world's eyes but what she was could move heaven and earth. She was one of the only people confronted by God who didn't argue with him. You will bear a son.... Ok, do what you will. Moses didn't give that answer. Gideon didn't give that answer. Most people when confronted by God look at themselves and say, 'But Lord, I can't. I am not able.' No such foolishness from Mary. She told the angel that GOD COULD DO whatever he wanted- and she is so right.

So, what about you and me? God is here today and He is asking us if we will let Him move in our lives. What is your answer to Him. I pray that my answer will always be like Mary's, the unremarkable village girl whom the whole world will always call blessed. Have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. I thank each one of you for praying for us, giving money to Lottie Moon and the Cooperative Program, and for being obedient to God in all the ways He is forwarding His Kingdom.

High Trust

I work with some really great national guys. Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pipen, Balin, and others are some of the best. We often talk about discipleship in our line of work. Discipleship is what we are commanded to do- we have to be a disciple and we are called to make disciples. To be a disciple of Jesus is to be a follower of Jesus. It means to walk in His ways, to do His will, to have faith in Him that whatever happens His plan is the one we are sticking to. In order to be a disciple we have to know what His ways are. We have to study under Him to know Him well. Too many people stop here. They learn about Jesus but they don't walk His walk. Knowledge without life is more than useless, it is death. We need to learn about Him so that we can act just like Him. In the West too often discipleship is thought to be a one hour Bible study or reading a good book. These things could lead to discipleship but as yet they are far from it. Following Jesus actually becomes real as we make decisions based on our relationship with Him. This has far more to do with going left instead of going right for the sake of Jesus and His Kingdom than how many Scriptures one has memorized. I have seen many very good men and women pour their lives into others only to see them become dependent, hesitant, faithless, gutless non-followers of Jesus. Why?

I think the crux of the issue is this; we make followers of Jesus and not followers of ourselves. I have told all the guys who work with me that we are not to refer to other people as 'our' disciples. We are to make disciples of Jesus. The best way to insure this is what some people call high trust. High trust means that we invest others with a lot of trust and control. We do not control others, we pray for others and let Jesus be in control. If you think about the kind of leader that Jesus was I think you will understand what I am talking about. Jesus sent out his men to do ministry long before they were what we would call ready. He taught them truth, lived truth in front of them and then sent them out. They went out proclaiming the Kingdom and healing and casting out demons even before they saw his resurrection. They let him down, they were faithless, they even deserted him, but that did not stop Him from entrusting the ministry to them. They taught, healed, baptized. It is impressive if you think about it. This is the kind of leader, discipler I want to be.

One day I was out with the team and we saw a house burning. We stopped and it was an amazing scene. Two rooms of a large home were engulfed in flames. Two boys- perhaps teenagers at most- were pouring buckets of water on the fire. A huge crowd of at least thirty or more neighbors were gathered around standing there watching with their hands in their pockets. I surveyed the situation and then I called the guys as they came in behind me. I had them get all the neighbors into a bucket brigade and then I found the breaker box and turned off the electricity (it turned out to be an electrical fire and no one had thought to turn of the fire source). We put out the fire before the fire department even arrived. We left and the guys took away a lesson far better than a one hour study could provide. Since that time we have helped in two other fires, taken countless sick men and women to hospital, and generally served wherever we have seen a need. I say we but really the guys have done most of this without me. Each week I send them out to do the projects, share their faith, and make a difference in the villages we work in. I hold them accountable but I trust them to do the job, spend the money, get the receipts, and make the reports. I modeled for them and now they do- and do and do and do.

In many ways this sounds simple. But in reality this was years in the making. It took time and hard work to follow God and let Him create for us a situation where we could work together like this. I credit my own leadership as well. It was Southern Baptists who sent me out with a God-sized task of getting to Gondor and impacting it with the Gospel. My boss did not think I could do it but he believed fervently that God could and he sent me out with his blessing. Over the years I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars. I have been held accountable for how I spent it but I was always supported to spend it how I thought it would be most beneficial. Sometimes we did things that were illogical or appeared non-strategic, but if I said that God was moving us to do something then I was supported to do it. This is high trust. The result has been that I am more than I was when I started this job. The men I have worked with are certainly more than they were when we began working together, and the men and women they work with are becoming the Children of God even as I type. High trust comes with high risks but if you want to see God move in peoples lives there really is no other way to do it.

A New Look at an Old Story

I was talking to some colleagues of mine about how to share the Gospel here in Gondor the other day. Now, you might be thinking that since I have been a follower of Jesus for 33 years now and I have a Seminary degree that surely I know all there is to know about the Gospel. Here is what I know: God is so big that there is always more to know! And here is something else I know: The way that I heard the Gospel and responded almost never works here among Muslim people. My story, like most Western Christians, goes something like this. I felt guilty. I worried about eternity and what God wanted from me. I felt inadequate and hopeless. I finally, through reason and logic, understood that Jesus died in my place, for my sins. Often at this point we throw in a court room illustration with God as judge and us as defendants and then Jesus enters and defends us- not by claiming our innocence but by taking our punishment on himself. We thank God for His mercy and grace and we are so overwhelmed by gratitude that we choose to follow Jesus anywhere He leads. This is the truth, it is awesome and everyone should be excited about it. But everyone isn't. Muslims here in Gondor are profoundly disinterested in such a story. The courtroom story misses their hearts by a million miles. Some acknowledge the truth to the claims of Christ we present but they are not overwhelmed with gratitude- they don't even seem terribly interested. Why not?

The answer is that we Western Christians live in what some sociologist call a 'guilt-based' society. We understand reality by categories of right and wrong. Sin is bad- wrong- and must be punished. Here in Middle Earth Muslims operate on a different system. Their reality is dictated by 'honor and shame'. An act is either 'honorable' or 'shameful' and shame must be dealt with or it affects the whole family. A very good friend of mine from Mordor lost his father when he was a young man. Enemies came to his house at night and stole his sister to be a bride for one of their men. The father fought with the men and lost. After they left he had a heart-attack and died. My friend's family was shamed by the actions of their enemies. In order to restore honor he should take his revenge on them. Now, a very interesting point here is that it does not count if these men are punished some other way. If the police had arrested these men and put them in jail that would not count to bring honor back to the family. Only a family member could exact the necessary revenge to restore family honor. The trouble was my friend had just become a believer and refused to act in this matter. He forgave the men who did this act- the man who married his sister died violently a couple of years later but not at my friend's hands. In Mordor many of people still think that my friend acted shamefully by forgiving his father's murderers. My friend is at peace because he knows Jesus. But how do we tell the old old story of Jesus and his love to people who think like the people of Mordor and Gondor and throughout Middle Earth?

Back to my discussion with my colleagues. So, one of my friends told a joke to illustrate honor and shame. Once there were two Oxford professors who went down around the bend of the river from their school in England to go skinny dipping. After swimming with no clothes on they laid on the bank of the river to dry off and fell asleep. They awoke to the noise of rowing and voices and looked up just in time to see a boat full of students coming around the bend of the river. Both men stood up with their towels. One put his towel quickly around his waist and the other put the towel over his head. The students pointed and laughed. When they had passed by the teacher who had put his towel around his waste said, 'How will we be able to stand before our students in class tomorrow- and why didn't you cover yourself instead of covering your head? The other professor answered, "My students know me by my face!"

Well, the point is clear I hope. With shame-based cultures what you do is not as important as how you are perceived. This is shocking for those of us with a guilt-based culture but you will be surprised at how forcefully the Word of God speaks to honor and shame. Instead of Jesus the trial lawyer picture Jesus the redeemer. Muslims have pretty hard time seeing Jesus as God or God's Son but what if we put it this way? Man's family is shamed because Man has behaved foolishly and allowed our great enemy Satan to shame us all. Man cannot defeat Satan, only God can do that. So, God sends His Son to become Man and He thus joins Man's family. Jesus defeats Satan at the cross and blows open the gates of Hell defeating Satan's Kingdom. Man's shame is covered and honor is restored by the redeeming work of Jesus. As you look through scriptures see if you do not see honor and shame being played out again and again. Many people believe that Muslims are resistant to the Gospel but what if they are not resistant? What if they have not yet heard the story that God has been so clearly telling all this time? What can we do about that right now?

What's in a Name?

Last week my back went out and it is still keeping me down even as I type with the smell of Ben-Gay wafting through the air. I smell like, like, like old people.

I don't remember the name of the movie but it was an old Frank Sinatra movie with (I think but could be mistaken) Danny Kaye and Fred Astaire.
Frank- What do you see in that girl anyway?
Danny- She's the most beautiful girl in the world and she has the most beautiful name!
Frank- A name! What's in a name, what's in a name?!? Why I once knew a girl named Virginia!

The Bible seems to have a higher view of names than Frank does. We see again and again men and women whose names get changed. Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, and even Saul to Paul are all name changes that changed the courses of these men's lives and indeed the course of history itself. I want you to think about the power of identity in the Kingdom of God today. Jacob the supplanter, the one who deceived, and grasped, and connived became Israel the overcomer, the one who strove with God and men and overcame. Seen from God's eternal standpoint this is who Jacob really was all along only Jacob didn't know it yet. Jacob didn't feel like an overcomer when he was his father's SECOND favorite son. He didn't feel especially victorious even when he deceived his way into the blessing and the birthright of his brother- in fact he ran away at that point. He did not feel like he was 'overcoming' when he worked for Laben for more than fourteen years and he certainly did not feel like a conquering hero as he returned at the end of the camel train to face his brother again. His children let him down a lot and when he lost Joseph he must have thought that the name Israel was a cruel joke after all. But in the end he births the twelve most influential tribes in the world and a nation stands today on the map bearing his true name- Israel. Of course, this political name on the map is nothing compared to the reality of the heavenly Kingdom which bears the name Israel and is made up of men and women from every tribe and nation on earth.

I was speaking to a friend once about a liberal activist in the West who was especially irksome to my very conservative friend. My friend mentioned what an egotistical fraud this man really was and how he wished everyone could see him for who he really was. I responded that it would be better if HE could see who he really was. Regardless of this liberal activist current status in the news or in his own mind God had a plan for him and a position that was better, more glorious, and certainly more eternal than this man could ever dream of. It is unfortunate that he has believed the lie about himself and has followed a road of self-adulation and self-fulfillment. It is more than unfortunate, it is tragic. You see, it is easy for us to identify with the oppressed in the world today. We know that they are wronged and we cry out for their justice. But, did you know that the oppressors are equally wronged? Do you understand that their real names are not oppressor, villain, backstabber, politician, scoundrel, but rather God longs to name them peacemaker, rescuer, lover, and friend? When men and women settle their identity on less than God's grace they have settled for a lie and walk in darkness.

When I started this blog I had a problem. If this were truly 'Tales from Middle Earth' then I could pick any character I wanted to to represent myself. Aragorn came quickly to mind but Aragorn is the King. He is tall and majestic. He is wise and valiant. He is a conquerer, a warrior, and a hero. I am none of those things- or at least, I am not comfortable wearing any of those descriptors. But then I fell on Strider. Strider is a name given to Aragorn in the story by people who do not know nor trust him. It is a name for a wanderer of no or questionable reputation. That fits me pretty well. For now, I am very happy to be Strider- a man who wanders on a journey until the King of Kings choses to make him Aragorn.

Many times people have asked me what my name was in the language that they speak in Gondor. What do people call me here? Usually they call me by my western name, sometimes with a 'Mister' in front of it though I don't like that. But about two years ago something happened that I rarely talk about. I have hesitated to tell this story on this blog because it is very personal and it puts me in too good of a light. I am much more comfortable telling you stories of how I screwed up- it boost my humility right? When I first went down to Anfalas I saw a people who were struggling to survive in a plight worse than I had ever personally witnessed before. I helped them with one project and then another. I sat with them, I listened, I listened, and I listened some more. I acted on what I heard and I cried out to God on behalf of this people often and long. One day when I went down to the village I met with the team. Frodo, Sam, and Merry were working on a project and we had dinner that night and prayed together. Merry said to me, "Strider, do you know what the people here call you when you are not around?" I was afraid to know! He said, "They call you 'Didor'" Didor is a word in the language of Gondor for 'the one who sees'. Merry went on to say that Anfalas was poor and many aid agencies and government agencies went to visit it and take pictures but only Strider really saw them. Only Strider really knew who they were and how they suffered.

Well, you can see why I don't like that story. One, it makes me look good, like some kind of hero or something and two, it really isn't true. I don't know them that well. I wish I was that guy, the one who sees, but really only God can bear that title honestly. Still, am I made in His image? Is He not recreating me to be His true child? Can I become the one who sees in earnest? I think that is what he wants for me. In Revelation 2:17 Jesus says that he will .... give a white stone, and on the white stone is written a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it. Could it be that one day I will receive a stone with my new name? And what will it say, Strider or Aragorn? Didor or Sleeper? What is your name? Your actions could determine that today. Let go of the name that the world has given you, it is a lie. What is your new name? Who is the King making you to become? What does your new name direct you to do today?

Thankful

I am very thankful today. Not only is it Thanksgiving Day and I have just cooked the most awesome looking turkey you have ever seen but it is my birthday today. 45 years ago today was also Thanksgiving Day prompting my mother to remark that she had a turkey for Thanksgiving. Thanks Mom, you earned the right for the jab!

I have been reading in 1 John lately. This is a very challenging book. Love one another, love one another, love, love, love- I can't take it anymore! Ok, I don't measure up, lighten up already.... But then of course, John's point is not that we should all weep with guilt for our lack of love but to encourage us to find the love that is available. Tucked away in the beginning of chapter two is this little gem, '... but if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and he is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.' The whole world? That's a lot of sin. That's a lot of sacrifice. That's my God! He is enough. Do you see what this means? Stop just looking at yourself. He says that Jesus' sacrifice is enough for the sins of the WHOLE WORLD. Sin still happens it just can't stop relationship anymore. You and I can not sin a sin that would separate us from God ever again. We do remain separated from God but not because of our sin- it is dealt with- but because of our delusion that our sin still matters. If I am truly becoming like Jesus it also means that you can not sin a sin that would make you my enemy. Jesus loves everyone. Why? Because in spite of the fact that they continue to sin and hurt themselves and others He sees them as He can now create them to be. Saints. This is not just true of a few really good people but it is true of the whole world. Forgiveness can happen now because sin is dealt with forever. It not only means that within the great family of Faith that we can have relationships that are deep and meaningful but now we can have such relationships with the whole world. His sacrifice was enough. The irritating neighbor, the disloyal friend, the persistent enemy, the corrupt government official, the radical Muslim cleric, everyone can now receive the love of God- and your love too. What a God we serve. I am thankful today that my sin is dealt with. But I am equally thankful that He has dealt a deathblow to the sins of the whole world. They only have the power of delusion now. Delusion is powerful indeed. I am not talking about Universalism here, delusion destroys relationships. It can make a man believe that his redeemed brother is his enemy. It can lead a man to believe he is not welcome in the presence of God. It is a lie and our job is to announce the good news that the lie is false and powerless. We do this in many ways but mostly we announce this lie by living as if it were a lie. We love others sacrificially in spite of their sin which the world insist matters so much. Go out today and live a loving sacrificial life and put to death the lie that sin matters. Jesus has dealt with it forever- Praise Him forever.

Fighting out of the Paper Bag

I have said before that perseverence is one of the most important qualities for the true follower of Jesus. Life gets in the way of everything we think we are supposed to do. There is a team staying here with us in Minas Tirith who wants to be in Rohan. Rohan is particularly difficult these days and getting there just hasn't happened for them yet. In the end, the team will have to settle for living in Edoras when they wanted to be in another city altogether. Their team leader assures them that they can make frequent trips to Helm's Deep, where they want to be, and continue their quest to reach that very dark, lost city. They asked me recently if I thought this was a realistic plan. This reminded me of a story....

When I was living in Rohan myself and wanting to move to Gondor I had to make frequent trips to set things up. I didn't get much help. I traveled by myself 18 times across the Gondor/Rohan boarder in 1997 and was hastled every single time. The 19th time across the border was an epic journey in itself as it was not only long and arduous but I had my wife and two children with me (I wrote this up in the post 'Too Stupid to Quit' March 11, 2007). Anyway, one day I was getting ready to leave with a friend who said he would go with me but when I called he told me he was too busy and couldn't make it. I was going to have to go alone again. I got up early the next morning picked up my bag and walked to the door. It was like swimming in molases. As I approached the door to our home I thought of what was going to happen. I was going to get a taxi to the nearest border crossing and it would be same song twentieth verse. "Hi, I am going to Minas Tirith." No you are not.... Yes, I am.... No you are not.... Yes, I am... on and on for an hour and a half or so until they get sick of me and then they would let me across. Then I would negotiate a taxi over a rough mountain pass and ten short hours later be in Minas Tirith. It was not fun, it was dangerous and there were always really good reasons why I should not be there doing what I wanted to do. It was just too much. I couldn't face those guards and that trip again. I went back to bed that Friday morning and slept all weekend. On Monday morning I got up picked up my still packed bag and went to the border. It was as bad as I thought it would be, but I made it. In the end, we moved to Gondor and even started working in Mordor as well.

There is a saying that goes, 'He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag.' Spiritual warfare is like that. We are in a paper bag- all the enemies tools are lies and deception- but we can't fight our way out most of the time. The Rohan team will go to Edoras and there will be a good reason everyday why they should not go to Helm's Deep that day. Will they go? Time will tell. It will depened on their ability to fight their way out of a paper bag. Most of us don't you know. Most of us sit in front of the TV and think that the weather will be better tomorrow, we will be better prepared tomorrow, the family, the finances, the job, the everything will be more conducive to go..... tomorrow. And so we sit. Yes, even I, the great advernturer Strider who tells lots of travel stories spends most of his days in his office trying to get over the inertia of sitting there so he can go back out there one more time, so I can fight the good fight one more time, so I can make a difference in someone's life one more time. From inside the paper bag all is dark and difficult. When we push through sometimes with ease, other times with effort we always wonder why we didn't do this before. Why don't we do this everyday? Perseverence comes hard. If it is crossing a border to an unreached nation or crossing the street to a family in need or even just crossing the line in a conversation to admit you really care, really love why does it seem to take such a Herculean effort? It does. I think that tomorrow I will travel to a village and tell people that God loves them. Tomorrow I will get out of the paper bag. I think that team will make it to Helm's Deep- and I think it will be harder than they think. What about you? Will you fight your way out tomorrow or will you turn on the TV and hide in your bag? HEY!!! Wake up! The bag is a lie. Go and fight the good fight.

A conversation with Balin

I was talking with Arwen the other day and we were discussing our frustration at how little we knew about how to share the Gospel effectively here in Gondor. I must admit that after ten years of working here I had hoped for a little more illumination than we currently had. Arwen, my lovely wife suggested that I talk to Balin about this. Balin is one of the most effective national evangelist we know. He has worked with us for over five years in our prison work and for the last year and a half he has worked with his church as a traveling evangelist.

I asked Balin how he shared his faith in Chirst. As I expected he did not hesitate to answer. He did not need to think over what he would say. Balin is one of those individuals who do not need to think before answering- he speaks straight from his heart. He said,

Strider, what people need to know about God is that He loves them. Just last week I walked into a local market and saw a woman selling grapes. I asked her how she was and she told me that she was really struggling to sell her grapes. She was poor and needy and she needed to sell quickly and it just wasn't happening for her. So, I told her that God loved her very much and that he cared about her and her grapes. I prayed for her that God would reveal himself to her and that she would sell her produce quickly. I came back an hour and a half later to see that she was selling the last of her grapes. She smiled broadly as I walked up and she thanked me for praying for her. I told her all about Jesus and how he not only loved her enough to help her sell grapes but he died for her. This is what people need to hear. They need to know that God loves them and they can only know that if you show that you genuinely love them.

He told several stories just like that in quick succession. Each time he listened to people in need, prayed for God to meet that need and then assured them that God had most truly loved them through Jesus Christ. This is both simplistic and extremely complex. It is simplistic because as a formula this simply falls short. You can not just do this as I have written it and expect any results at all. You see, actually this is a very difficult formula to follow because what Balin actually does is to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in what He is already doing. After going through a couple more stories like this he stopped and looked at me very seriously and said, 'Don't misunderstand me here, Strider, I don't do this everywhere I go. Many times I go somewhere and look around and I don't say anything to anyone. Sometimes the Holy Spirit just does not want to me speak to anyone at a given time.' Ah, so it is not all up to us! Well, I thought that but sometimes you wonder. Sometimes you see a great evangelist talking about how he leads everyone he knows to faith and you think, wow, I sure am a loser. No, it is not all up to us but as you read the Word they spend a lot of time pleading with men and women to repent and follow Jesus. Like I said, it's complicated. What it is really about is a relationship. A relationship between you and God Almighty. As you go deeper with Him He fills you with His love and compassion and power. He fills you and annoints you to go out and share with others, yes so they will come to know Him to, but also so that you will get to know Him better.

If you ask me that's what this whole messed up world is all about. It is a giant, violent, difficult adventure for us to share with Him. As we share the adventure together we bond, we love, we grow and change until we become His true children. Children whom He is pleased to call home and sit down at His table and eat and drink with. Children who are growing up to be just like dad, full of faith, and hope, and love. As I learn to be this kind of child He will work with me to be a part of a community of faith. A community that proclaims the love of God in such a compelling way that even strict Muslims can't help but sell all, pick up their crosses and follow Him.

The Funeral

He was 35 years old when the civil war began. He was a small man working for a farm in the rural south of Gondor when the call to arms came. The Islamic fundamentalists had been plowing through the countryside terrorizing everyone. Their ideologues were declaring all things modern to be anti-Islamic. They were destroying everything and they were headed for the main hydro-electric power plant in the country. He grabbed a rifle and headed up the mountain to the dam and they saved the plant- for which I am most very thankful! Then seven men from his town took control of the situation. These were violent fearful men. The government was in complete disarray so they emptied out the prisons, reorganized the armed forces with the new recruits and got to work. They went house to house through village after village killing and plundering the Islamic fundamentalists who had just a few months before been killing and plundering themselves. One night he was taken by these men out to a village that was favorable to the Islamic opposition. They broke down the door of a home and dragged out an old man with a long white beard, his daughters screaming and begging for mercy. The men told him that this man was a fundamentalist and he must shoot him. He raised his rifle, tears streamed down his face. He heard the cries of the women, the shouts of his friends. He put the gun down and walked out of the yard and went back home. In my eyes and the eyes of his sons he never stood as tall as he did that night but he never forgave himself for not being able to kill that man. His seat at the table of power and position was given to someone else. Later on, after the war was over and over one hundred thousand men and women of Gondor had lost their lives he drove a car for some of these men. It was all the work he could find.

I met him through his second son. I gave his son a job and then helped him get a better job. I recognized that his son was a special and talented young man and I continued to mentor and aid him as I could. I spoke to him about God and spiritual things but he didn't hear me. The only thing that mattered to him, to his father, and to his whole family was to make up for that one mistake, to prove to the whole community that this was a great and honorable family. So, they worked hard and they built a nice house. My friend had a great wedding with hundreds of guests. He is now a businessmen working with an international business.

On Wednesday we buried his father. He had been sick for about a month but then was completely better so the heart attack caught them completely off-guard. He was fifty years old when I got the call to head for the village immediately. I drove with a friend the two hours over the pass to the small town where they live. As I walked into the yard I heard the normal wailing of the women who always cry loud and long during funerals but I was surprised that the men where also crying and wailing. My friend was beside himself with grief. His father, a good man, was gone forever. I held him but had no words of comfort to offer. We took his father up on the hill and laid his body in a hole and filled it in. For those who do not know Jesus Christ death is a very final and bitter reality.

This family is responsible for its own eternity. God has given us the power to choose and this man has chosen. I told him the truth and I lived the truth before him. I have no regrets about how I conducted my life in relation to them. But somehow that is not good enough. How do we really release the saving power of Christ into the lives of men and women who are bound up by the lies of power, prestige, and pride? I think that God is moving among us and teaching us more and more about how to join Him in the work that He is doing. He is redeeming men and women. He will make the kingdom of this world into His very own Kingdom. Transformation has happened, is happening, will ultimately happen. In my next post I hope to deal more thoroughly with the topic of evangelism. In the meantime, everyone around us is dying. Jesus Christ is the resurrection and the life. Somehow, these two realities must meet, sit down together and have tea.

Breaking the Chain

It was Beth Moore night again tonight with my friends. We are studying her Patriarchs series. In tonight's lesson she pointed out some things about Ishmael and his descendants. In Genesis 16:12 God tells Hagar that her son Ishmael will be against everyone. In Genesis 25:18 it says that his descendants where against all of their brothers. From he to they. It is a chain. It got me thinking about my chain and my debt to my father and mother. My family tree is neither physically nor spiritually illustrious. Poor farmers and railroad men from America's Midwest my father's family settled in Nebraska and my dad grew up poor, in a broken home on the wrong side of the tracks. I have just a few memories of my great grandfather. He was a gruff old man who sat in his recliner chair and watched sports on television. He was not a very spiritual man and I don't know that he ever thought about God even though he went to church every Sunday. My early memories of my grandfather were of a rough man who was loud and quick tempered. I admired his strength at the time but as I grew up I realized that he made one bad decision after another. He continually gave his strength away and remained small and bitter. Late in life he found faith in Jesus and he radically changed. He found faith because my father shared Jesus with him. It was my father who broke the chain. An endless line of poor broken men ended when my father accepted the free grace of Jesus and was adopted into a new family. A family of powerful heritage. A family of strength, and honor, and dignity. A family with Abraham as its patriarch and Jesus as its head. Sometimes I think that I still see a poor farm boy in my father's eyes. Sometimes I see a boy who wants to be on the other side of the tracks so bad it hurts. But I see a man redeemed to be much more than all those whom he has envied for so long. My father has become much more than his upbringing ever gave promise to. Because he broke the chain I am proud to stand on his shoulders. Because he broke the chain I have followed in his steps and accepted adoption into the only family worth being in. I am a child of God not because I am wise or clever or even lucky. But because my father's lost and useless family has been swept up in a story that is as old as Genesis itself. I am not a poor directionless man wandering aimlessly across America's vast Midwest. I am a blessing in the hands of Almighty God to bring hope and light to dark distant lands filled with hopeless people. This is God's own doing, what He delights to do.

These people here in Gondor are a part of this epic story. They believe that they are the sons and daughters of Ishmael. They believe that Ishmael is the child of promise. They are deceived. Islam means to 'submit'. Their heritage is that of the bondwoman Hagar who is Mount Sinai (Romans 4). They are trapped by the law that they believe will save them but it only brings death. I am here to call them to break the chain. I have been sent by God- by virtue of his great mercy- to call them to leave their father's house and join the Family of Promise. They are called to join the family of Isaac and establish the new Jerusalem. Not a city on a hill in the Middle East, but a Kingdom whose beginning is full of faith and valor and whose end is glory everlasting.

Who are you? The son or daughter of a merchant? A blacksmith? A soldier? If you are a follower of Jesus you are a child of the King. A powerful force in the world today. Live it.

One Year but Who's Counting?

Well, clearly I am not counting. It was actually October 7, 2006 when I put the first post up on this blog. My intent in beginning the blog was to talk about what God was doing in a positive and thought-provoking way. I had felt that in the SBC blogworld and maybe in the Christian blogworld in general that we were getting out a really negative message, that by focusing on all that was wrong we were missing all that God was doing. I don't know how effective I have been in influencing the blogosphere but it seems that a few faithful readers have been blessed and for that I am very thankful.

So, for the coming year I will continue to put up as many stories as God permits me to witness as His Great Story unfolds. You are always welcome to come by, comment and share in the journey. One of my favorite 'travel' songs was done by the all too secular artist Dan Fogelberg when I was still in High School. As best as I can remember it I will put it below for you to ponder. And thank you again for stopping by.

Along the Road by Dan Fogelberg

Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road

Along the road your path may wander
A pilgrim's faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Darkness obscures the trail

Cursing the quest, Courting disaster
Measureless nights forbode
Moments of rest, Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road

Along the road your steps may stumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights the way

Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
Somewhere along the road

A Triumphal Procession

Things go wrong here in Middle Earth once in a while. But not all the time. If everyone was always late, if the electricity was always off, if the water was always brown then that would be predictable. Life here is not predictable and in order to maintain a proper state of unpredictability sometimes things go right. One day things went really really right. I thought I would tell you about it.
The year was 1999 and we were tired. We had started the office here in Minas Tirith, we had begun the work in northern Mordor, we had started a house church, and we had our third child. I thought that was a pretty good first term all round. But we were worn out and in need of some good time with friends and family back in the West. The trouble is that the very hardest thing we do here is travel. People often ask us how long it takes us to get here and the answer used to be about a week. We have a direct flight to a major airport out in Grey Havens now but back then we could not get very far and the layovers were always measured in days instead of hours. We had a guest come two weeks before we were to leave and they hassled him pretty good on his way out. I stuck up for him and got him through without paying any kind of bribe but I made a few customs guys pretty irritated in the process. I kept thinking that I was going to be here with my whole family and a lot of luggage in just two weeks and they were not going to make this easy.

We packed up and headed to the airport. Several friends went with us. When we got to the airport everyone was there. I had seen other people leave with a large procession of grateful nationals and honestly I never thought our leaving would be like that. But the King was good as always and many were there to see us off- except our secretary. She was supposed to be there and was not. We went to check in and there was a guy with a big broom handled mustache standing at the door. I had seen him there before but I don't ever remember speaking to him. He greeted me and then turned to the large room with all the customs officials and the passport control people and announced in a loud voice, "This is a very good man! He speaks our language, only use our language with him. He is a great diplomat!" I was in shock. I humbly said thank you to him and walked in. I went to customs and I asked to fill out the forms and begin the arduous procedure of checking in. The man looked at me puzzled and said you are a diplomat- go on. Ok. Everyone in our entourage followed us passed customs and then passed passport control which they should not be allowed to do. It was like a big party. Then we went out on the runway and said goodbye to everyone. We boarded the plane and waited. And waited. We wondered why we were waiting so long then it was announced that something needed to happen. I didn't understand. Suddenly the front doors of the plane were reopened and I was asked to go forward. I looked down and there was our secretary on the runway saying goodbye. The airport officials had held up the plane and let her out on the runway to say goodbye to us. Unbelievable. But this was stage one of a long trip. Things were sure to go wrong when we went north to one of the most difficult and corrupt airports in Middle Earth. Nothing happened. We arrived. People were not only nice, they were downright helpful. It was eerie. I kept looking over my shoulder waiting for someone to come along asking for money, or trying to be nasty. It didn't happen. We got our onward tickets and we went on the US of A. I don't usually get too place specific in this blog but I will go ahead and say that we landed in Atlanta, GA- we went on from there but that is where we went through immigration. As we walked up to the line a large black man in a uniform and a big smile was waiting for us. He took our passports and looked them over. He said, "So, you're a missionary!" I had not used that word for three years. We never use that word. Sometimes we call it the M word but that is as far as we go. I looked around to see who was listening and I said, "Is that tattooed on my forehead?" He looked at the various visas in my passport- places many of you have never heard of- and said, "It's tattooed in your passport. How long have you been away?" I told him that we had been out of the US for three and a half years. He handed our passports back and said, "Welcome home!" I almost cried.

There are days when everything goes wrong. Plans fail. I almost never go to bed having accomplished what I set out to do that morning. In our work we say flexible is not enough, you have to be fluid. But our King is a most gracious King. He gives us just what we need when we need it most. The psalmist said that though weeping endures for a night, joy comes in the morning. Here in Middle Earth it often waits until lunchtime but it does come. 2 Cor 2 says it this way: "But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads in every place the fragrance that comes from knowing him." That verse is jam packed with meaning. In June of 1999 it took on a newer and grander meaning than I had seen before. It is true everyday even though I don't feel it every day. Life does not always feel like a triumphal procession, but it is. How I feel or what the next set of Government officials do to me can not alter the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ in me. So, I will march in this triumphal procession even when it is lonely, and dark, and full of troubles. Come with me.

The Hope of Love

In a previous post I mentioned working with Boromir. There was another guy whom I also worked with at that time whose name I will call Ted. Ted spoke some English, was educated, had been a believer for over nine years and had a wife and three children. He came and participated in our Disaster Management Course and I knew that I had found a great asset to the team. What I liked about Ted, what made him so compelling was that he would cry quite easily when talking about deep emotional things. He had a lot of those kinds of things to talk about as it turned out. The more I got to know him the more I realized that he was really messed up. He had been treated very badly by some of the Churches that he had gone to. He had been thrown out of his original Church because when he got married- to a Christian girl- his parents gave him a Muslim wedding. The pastor felt he had not objected loudly enough to this so they excommunicated him. The next church he went to tried to help him but soon grew tired of his many needs and they too threw him out. He wandered from Church to Church after that trying to find a place to belong but could not. I, being who I am, was sure that I could help him.

I started to study with him and Boromir on a regular basis. As we studied together, prayed together, and worked together many things came to light. Boromir was an alcoholic. Ted had other problems. Ted was trapped in the worst marriage you have ever heard of. He was trapped in the lies of his own making and it was tearing him apart. Sin is like that you know. The enemy is not content to let us just wander cold and miserable down the wrong path, he wants us to suffer much more than that. If we let him the enemy will tell us lies to bind us up until we are nothing more than animals with no control over any aspect of our lives. This was Ted's predicament. His wife came from an abusive family and Ted married her partly to get her out of it. But she is now a very damaged individual. Their life together is really something to see. She yells at him, baits him, and antagonizes him until he finally hits her- which is the only way that she feels she has been heard. He then feels terrible about it and goes out and seeks solace with a prostitute. She hates him all the more for that and the cycle repeats. It has been repeating like this for nine years. She leaves him- often and then comes back to him because there is no where else to go. He repents and swears his love for her often but it never last long and he is back in the worst kinds of sin and self-hatred. Enter Strider with his big Bible and truck full of wisdom based on Open Windows. (Cue Mighty Mouse theme song, "Here I come to save the daaaaaaayyyy!") Yes, yes, I already know. I am an idiot.

I plead with God to take these guys away. I didn't want to work with an alcoholic or a wife-beater no matter what their situations were. All through that fall and through that winter I would get up in the morning and tell God He had the wrong man- there was no man- for these guys. Let's just cut our losses and move on to more productive people. I already told you what happened with Boromir, how he cleaned up at first and became really productive. I began to think that Ted would never get it. He would never understand what I was talking about. We went through John Eldridge's Wild at Heart book and talked about what a real man was suppose to be. We discussed what Ted should be doing to truly love his wife. He used what we taught to justify his outrageous behavior. Then in the Spring his wife left him- again. This time it seemed for good as she took the kids up to her parents house in the North. Ted came in and suddenly there was a lightbulb over his head. He said to me, 'I get it! I understand what you have been saying all this time. I know it will be harder than ever to fight for my wife and restore our relationship but that is exactly what I have to do.' He left the next day for her city.

Now, I have to be honest. I thought two things simultaneously: One, great, he finally gets it. God bless the boy. And two, he's gone. I don't have to deal with him anymore.
A few months later I heard he had found work. He was seeing his wife regularly. He was trying to be active in a church there that was related to his first Church. He repented of all his sins in front of the whole congregation. Then a few months after that his wife left her parents house and started to live with him again. There were some struggles at first but then everything seemed to turn out great. I was happy for him. Then she left him and the kids and ran off to Arnor in the far north. He came back down to Minas Tirith with the kids in tow. He was shattered and his parents decided they would finally intervene. They set him up to marry another girl. He got an official divorce. I and other friends told him not to marry this non-christian girl that he hardly knew. It would be a disaster. The second marriage lasted four days. Then his first wife came back. He left the second wife- her reputation and life destroyed- and rejoined his divorced wife. I saw him shortly after that. I felt that I couldn't just condone all this. I had to be firm. I had to lay it on the line. I spoke harshly to him and condemned him for destroying that young girl's life. He took my words pretty hard. He left and I didn't see him for a long time. He is back up north again. Living with his wife and children and working in a new Church start. He hasn't been back to prostitutes for 2 years nor has he beaten his wife.

So, here is my point. God is a lot more patient than I am. His mercy and grace are amazing beyond our ability to comprehend. I must grow even more in this area. I need to be able to love more truly. Love hopes all things. What does that mean to you? To me it means that despite the reality of sin and stupidity love knows that better things are coming. Love knows that the walls of sin and selfishness can and will be destroyed. Love knows that the captive can be freed. We separate from our brothers and sisters so easily and it is a testimony to our lack of faith. Our Lord is at work in people's lives. He will overcome every work of the evil one. We need to confront evil in others not out of anger at them, to separate from them, or to show our offense at them. We need to confront the evil in others by inviting them into closer, deeper, truer relationship. I blew it when I cast Ted out. I should have confronted his sin and invited him in and proclaimed my love for him at the same time. My Father does this. I must do it too. But we are afraid to do this. Afraid that if someone else sees us they will think we are soft on sin, that we condone what others do. That is what Jesus was accused of. If I am not accused of this is it because my actions are so good that they are not misunderstood? Foolishness. If I am not accused of loving sinners and being misunderstood as Jesus was then it is because I am not like Jesus and I am not loving others as He does. God make me misunderstood like Jesus.